November Mental Health Column
This month in the Mental Health Support Column, our amazing counselor Dr. Nuckols addresses mental health-related questions and concerns submitted from anonymous OHS students! The aim of the Support Series is to foster a community where one can freely express or ask questions related to mental health and get feedback.
Submission: What is the best way to deal with Internet trolling on OHS chats that do not rise to the level of teasing/bullying using conflict resolution skills?
Response: Thanks for this wonderful question. We know from social psychology research that the “bystander effect” is something we need to counteract in our own minds. Especially in large-group situations, we may observe problematic behavior such as trolling but not take action because we assume that someone else will respond or intervene. Instead, everyone in the OHS community is encouraged to be an “upstander.” This means finding ways to respond that are effective, safe, and supportive of a positive social environment at our school.
In case the behavior you notice does fall into the category of bullying, harassment, or some other high-risk situation, be sure to reach out for help and support. You can talk to a parent, guardian, or another trusted adult, or you are encouraged to contact the OHS Student Life Office for assistance. The Canvas Student Conduct and Community pages include information about connecting with the Student Life Office via email or by using an online form in such instances.
If the situation doesn’t rise to the level of bullying or harassment, then it could be a good opportunity to practice conflict resolution or communication skills. If you feel comfortable doing so, simply intervening with a direct statement such as “That’s not okay” may be helpful. Also, it may be beneficial in such instances to communicate using I-statements, which involve sharing our own thoughts and feelings. You could say, “I don’t feel comfortable with where this group chat is going. Could we get back to the main topic?” Such a response may be more helpful than blaming or labeling someone whose behavior is causing concern. Another option is to create a distraction. For example, in a group chat, you could jump in with an entirely new thread or topic, hoping to shift the attention of the group away from trolling or other negative behavior. If a situation is ongoing and you would like to get help in finding effective ways to respond, feel free to get in touch with your OHS counselor (ohscounseling@stanford.edu) who will be happy to talk with you.
- Dr. Greg Nuckols
Submission: I've been feeling stressed lately with midterms and extracurriculars. What are some methods for feeling less stressful? What do I do when I often feel like I can't take a break?
Response: This is an excellent question, and one that is certainly relevant to a great many OHS students. Stress is a complex topic, and to begin we may want to keep in mind that stress in itself is not always something to avoid. Almost any meaningful activity or undertaking will involve some amount of stress. However, it is helpful to find ways to release and manage stress so that it doesn’t become overwhelming or unhealthy.
In ordinary circumstances, having space in one’s schedule for physical activity, downtime, and social time with friends can go a long way toward keeping stress manageable. During especially busy weeks, it naturally may be more difficult to fit in such things. However, I would suggest that taking regular mini-breaks, even for just a few minutes, can be of benefit. Taking a mini-break every hour or so could make work periods more efficient, so that you aren’t actually losing time by taking such breaks. It is also important to use breaks effectively. If an activity such as scrolling through online chats, checking social media, or gaming doesn’t actually help you to feel less stressed, try choosing a different way to take a quick break. Taking a moment to say a quick hello to a supportive friend or family member could work well. Or spending a few minutes walking, stretching, or doing some other physical activity might help with releasing stress. Listening to music or engaging in a creative activity like drawing might be a good way to use a few minutes in between tasks. Check out the brief (two minute!) video here for some additional thoughts about releasing stress. What’s most important is to find a few mini-break ideas that feel helpful to you and then commit to doing them regularly, even on hectic days.
Finally, in some instances it may be necessary to come to terms with our limits as human beings. We can only do so much, and we have needs for sleep, rest, and social time that cannot be ignored. If we are truly overscheduled with classes, extracurricular activities, and other commitments, then making choices about priorities and streamlining our schedule could be an effective way to reduce stress.
- Dr. Greg Nuckols
Need advice on mental health, wellness, or academic stress? Anonymously submit your question here for a chance to get advice from an OHS counselor or peer in the next Pixel Journal issue.