Don't Pick Your Nose: On Social Etiquette at OHS in the Style of Emily Post
*Disclaimer, this article is ever-so-slightly satirical, and written in the style of an epic, iconic priss–I myself do not live by many of these commands, I am not Emily Post, and my etiquette in OHS classes is far from perfect.
Introduction
For many, the word “digital” as an adjective describing any process at all–communication, design, media–is synonymous with a loss of all beauty, elegance, and decorum. This is especially true for the adolescent academic. For students at Stanford Online High School, the conundrum is most difficult. As an international school, students are scattered across time zones–a chipper 9 a.m. pupil may be taking a differential equations course with a sleepy expat. There is the trouble of the home. Many OHS students take their courses from home—thus taking academics, class, and public affairs into the private sphere. But learning is invariably important for the young mind, and the rules and regulations for proper learning environments do not vanish when regulated to the ether.
The Camera
Make yourself visible. Show your face. It is impossible to engage or connect with a slightly gesticulating, half-illumined (turn on the light!) forehead.
Do not spend the entirety of a class navelgazing. Everyone else can tell when you spend the entirety of Core staring at your own zit, and it’s unflattering.
Do not fade into the shadow of your wall, obscuring your face and any sign of life, and then pause your camera. Your classmates ought to engage with visible faces, not Deep Throat in silhouette.
It is completely obvious when you spend the entirety of the class online shopping, texting a friend, or scrolling instagram. Often, we can see it in the reflection of your glasses. At least pretend to stifle your giggles or give a perfunctory nod.
The Microphone
Remain a healthy distance away from whatever sound input you use. I do not want your tongue in my ear, or to hear your lips brush across the mic. There is a reason I am taking an online course and we are separated by thousands of miles–please don’t get too close for comfort.
Headphones! Please. It is a terribly demoralizing experience to listen to your own, stammering voice, definitely not giving the right answer as you try to answer a question of constitutional interpretation, through the feedback of your Macbook.
On solitude. Personally, I enjoy hearing an occasional clammer or crash in the background while you wax poetic about z-scores. Even better if the student physically turns to listen to something being said, or responds themselves. It reminds me that we are autonomous real people, and not just (pun intended) pixels.
On Chat
This is the only place I advocate for zero self consciousness. Please share your stupid thought, your off topic thought, your crazy theory. As someone who often says something totally silly in chat and then regrets it (some microeconomics highlights: “A brand is like… a perfume commercial?” in response to a question of what Proctor & Gamble and a few other countries have in common after identifying both meth, trampolines, and sofas as products “they all sell meth” to which my lovely teacher responds “no, Proctor & Gamble does not sell meth”), please do not be ashamed to say things there. It is funny and offbeat and makes me feel better about myself. Chat! Bonus points for saying something meta, like: “Chat, is this real?” Points subtracted from spamming like in my 8th grade OHS Latin class to the point where Magistra is actively distressed–this is not the Roman way–the Roman way involves more calvary, probably.
In conclusion, the digital world is still a social one. The same rules of respect and politeness apply. OHSers mostly do, and should continue, to take heed!