Write Your Heart Out: Putting Words to Emotions

As a fiction writer, it’s part of my job to describe emotions. But that doesn’t make it any easier. My best friend has never dramatically betrayed me at teatime, but I still have to describe the ensuing fictional emotional fallout in precise and vivid language. I’ve never had to save the world, but I have to make the pressures and anxieties of this task believable.

Difficulties aside, descriptions are great practice for real life situations where I have to deal with similar emotions. It’s like going through a simulation of a greater magnitude beforehand. I’m of the opinion that everybody, not just writers, should practice putting their feelings into words.

Emotional regulation is an important dimension of wellness. It gives you the tools to deal with stressful situations in an adaptive way, rather than being pulled under. It may even reduce general stress; studies show that people with lower emotional regulation report higher levels of experienced stress. Isn’t less stress what we all want?

Reappraisal, a useful regulational strategy, involves reframing emotionality to change its impact. For instance, an angry situation could lead to a serious conversation rather than an explosion. Successful reappraisal can decrease depressive symptoms over time, even in the face of elevated stress. 

The first step in reappraisal is recognition. The ability to articulate the things you feel takes you a long way when trying to make sense of a situation. The more detailed you can get in recognition, the better. For example: Do I feel good or bad? Is that pounding in my chest fear or anxiety? If it’s anxiety, am I overwhelmed or worried? It could be a mixture of both, or even several, less connected emotions fluctuating over time. 

Labeling, a part of recognition, helps you slow down for a second and take store. Emotions accompany physical and mental states, and either one could influence the other. Being “hangry” is the prime example of how bodily sensations affect cognitive processes. Labeling also helps you create an action plan. Emotions want to be responded to. A proper response only comes from a proper assessment of the situation, achieved through labeling.

Yes, recognition is difficult. Even if you’re able to assess your internal state (which is much harder than you’d think), identifying those sensations is a different beast. Oftentimes, you may find yourself at a loss for words. Expanding your emotional vocabulary requires outside input, ranging from real-life interactions to simulated experiences through books.

This is where the writing comes in. You don’t have to write the best story the world has ever seen. It doesn’t have to be elegant, or even eloquent. You could simply reflect on a book you enjoyed, thinking about how a character felt in a specific scene. You could ramble about experiences you’ve had and find your emotions emerging in the tangle. If you are a writer, try using the most specific emotion labels you can think of in a story. Tell for a change, don’t show. Use emotion wheels—visually organized categories of emotion labels—and thesauruses and emojis and whatever else is at your disposal. Go wild.

Remember: words don’t have to be perfect from the start. They can never be perfect at all, only closer to satisfactory. At the end of the day, what matters is that you have a safe space where you can sort out your feelings, whether that be Google Docs, your Notes App, or even a piece of paper. I’m a writer; of course I recommend writing. It might not work for you as it did for me, but I hope that I’ve convinced you enough to try it out.